Nightmares
by remnants-2011
Summary: Young Anakin's nightmares


_ His fingers tightened; muscles up his arm tensing as he drew the fist tighter and tighter. Anger blinded his vision, his thoughts. How, how dare she! How dare him! Him…He would pay. Just thinking of him made his lip curl in a digusted sneer. His arms began to shake, spasming under tension. His entire body was shaking. Everything seemed to melt away, his only reasoning dwelled on making him pay. _

_ He didn't notice her anymore, didn't hear her strangled pleas. She stood there frozen, clutching her throat in desperation. _

_ "Ani," she managed in a hoarse whisper. _

_ His gaze flickered over, but barely saw her. Delicate face, illuminated by the red glow cast from the cascading lava. Padme, his angel. His…everything. But, no. This was more important! His mind was screaming, all- confused by rage. Obi- wan…would…pay._

_ From the corner of his gaze, he saw her body crumple. But, he failed to see any importance to this. From the other corner of his gaze, a movement. He turned, snarling. He felt the presence of his former master. He would not be feeling this presence much longer…_

Little Ani Skywalker awoke sweating. He blinked in the darkness of his bedroom before scurrying to turn on the light. He wiped away the beads of sweat from his forehead as he blinked his eyes into adjusting to the sudden presence of the light.

The desert nights of Tatooine were cold, but right now, he was drenched with sweat. Anakin sat in his bed, thin covers in a tangle by his feet. His eyes drifted across his small, sand colored room. Wires and small parts lay cluttered on most of the surfaces, the unfinished arm for his protocol droid sitting on the desk. His focus returned back to himself, he looked down and found his right hand still clenched tightly in a fist. It hurt. Slowly he pried his fingers back to their natural state and simply stared at them.

Every so often, the dreams came. He never told anyone, he was embarrassed. Eight year old boys did not still have nightmares, he was practically grown up.

Anakin crawled back into his bed, but paused. He bit his lip, but then seemed to convince himself of something. He reached down under his bed and withdrew a battered datapad. He had salvaged it from the junk bins a few months ago and has been recording his dreams.

_ "I was angry. Very angry. There was a woman there, she was very beautiful. She had brown hair and was pregnant. I think I've dreamed about her before, I can't quite remember her face. But I know she's pretty. She was important to me in the dream, but the anger was stronger. I saw a glimpse of a man; I think he was who I was angry at. Actually, now I don't really remember him. It was more of a feeling. It made the anger stronger. I wanted revenge. I wonder what he did to me."_

With that, Anakin slip the datapad underneath his bed once more, suddenly tired again.

* * *

Shmi Skywalker was home from work early. She was tired, but swiftly set herself upon the household duties. She wanted to finish before Ani returned home. The dinner had to be prepared, and the house was a mess. She put a bowl of rations on the stove and found herself going into Ani's room. 

She smiled, despite herself. Her son kept a messy room. Various bits and pieces from Watto's shop littered the floor. She picked up a good sized piece of metal closest to her feet, and walked over to set it upon the desk.

Shmi bent down to pick up another unknown spare part, when she saw the datapad. A corner of it was peeking out from underneath the bed. Curious, she gingerly pulled it out and opened it. She felt a swell of guilt as she began reading, this was a diary of sorts.

She was about to close it when a phrase caught her gaze.

_ "…She was so beautiful. I think I could see a bit more of her face this time. She was smiling. There was water everywhere…"_

Shmi paused, concerned. She sunk into Anakin's bed, finding herself reading more and more.

_ "Strong pain in my arm, even after I woke up…metal, like a droid?...Anger too, stronger. But not just anger, I was lonely."_

She continued, her eyes whipping through so quickly she only caught glimpses of words.

_ "Beautiful…I love her…hate, so strong…lava…a man with long hair…anger…round room, judging…pain…anger…death…I killed them all…"_

Shmi's eyes were trying to scan enitre pages at a time now. One particular paragraph at the bottom caught her gaze though. Her hands drew up to her mouth in shock as she read.

_"Mom...I killed her, it was all my faught... I've had this dream before. I was a jedi. I came back to Tatooine... I couldn't control myself, i just kept killing them all. Slaughtering them...I burried the body in the Lars' backyard. My mother... " _

"Mom! I'm home!" Anakin's voice called from the font door and a beat later she heard the door fall shut. Startled, Shmi hastily shoved the datapad under the bed.

"I'm in here," She called, trying to keep her voice even and act as if nothing had happened. Bending down, she picked up a tangled piece of wire.

A second later, Anakin appeared in the door.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, a look of concern drawing upon his young face.

She shook her head as she spoke, "Nothing, Ani. Just cleaning…" She smiled. "Could you check on dinner for me?"

"Sure, Mom!" he replied happily, turning and leaving.

Shmi stared down at the tangled blue wire she still held in her hands. She was concerned, disturbed even.

She made sure to never bring it up.

* * *

Almost a year later, on one particularly hot day, Anakin was cleaning out the bins in Watto's shop. Somehow, even before they came, he knew. That afternoon a tall man with long hair and a slight air of naivety entered the shop. He was accompanied by a gangly reptilian creature, and astromech droid and her. She was dressed in plain clothes, but he remembered a blurred vision of her, wearing white. They were back in that place with all the water, the green. He held her hand in his, the kissed. "My angel," a voice whispered. Drawing back to reality, Anakin found her avoiding his stare. 

"Are you an angel?" He blurted out, startling her.

"Excuse me?" She asked, fighting back a smile.

"An angel," He replied. "I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them."

She smiled. "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

Anakin blinked, "No reason."

She turned away.

"I'm going to marry you one day," he suddenly blurted out.

She looked concerned for a moment before grinning and laughing. "You're a funny little boy," she said simply.

He smiled too. I am going to marry you one day. That thought stayed with him forever.

Fin


End file.
